Blue Christmas
by CBloom2
Summary: Bit of a twist on the adoption story involving our brothers, hopefully story is better than the summary.


**Hi all! Once again I would just like to say a massive thank you to everyone who reads and reviews my offerings - you make it all worth while.**

 **I realise that it's a bit early for Christmas/New Year stories but I've got a busy few weeks coming up at work (I work in a school, so you can imagine) plus both of my children have birthdays next week and then it's Christmas, so I may not have much time to write, so I'm doing this now.**

 **It's another angsty piece (cough *surprise*) involving Ethan finding out about Cal etc.**

 **As usual I don't own anyone that you recognise.**

The doors to the Holby ED whooshed open allowing a group of staff members to exit the premises. They were all exhausted after a long, gruelling shift, but the prospect of having the day off the following day helped them to keep their spirits up.

"Pub?" Max and Lofty suggested at the same time. There were numerous murmerings of agreement as they all made their way across the road.

Ethan sighed deeply. He had really just wanted to go home and curl up with a glass of seasonal cheer and watch Christmas TV - but Cal had wanted to finish off Christmas Eve at the pub, and after everything he'd been through over the last few weeks, he wouldn't deny his brother anything.

Cal cast a furtive glance towards his brother, noticing that Ethan looked anything but happy to be going to the pub. He knew that he was only going because he wanted him too, and while part of him felt a wave of affection for him, another part of him just wanted him gone! No, no, no, that wasn't right, he never wanted him gone, but what Ethan didn't know was that Cal was plucking up courage to tell him some news that may change things forever.

Ethan perched on a bar stool as he ordered drinks for everyone. He received many thankful pats on the back and kisses from the ladies. He sipped his pint slowly, thoughtfully, as he watched events unfolding around him. Before he knew it, Cal was already on his fourth pint and Ethan was only half way down his. He knew then that it was going to be a long night. Tonight though he noticed, Cal was different to what he usually was when he was drinking to forget. He was quiet. He spent a lot of time staring at his drink as if he'd got the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Ethan felt a presence by his side. He turned slightly to see Charlie sidle up to him, "Oh hey Charlie. What are you having?" the young doctor asked.

"Oh, I'll have a pint thanks Ethan," the head nurse replied, smiling happily at him, "I'm ready for this," he said as he brought the beverage to his lips.

Ethan smiled softly as he watched the heart of the ED enjoy his first mouthful, then he cast his eyes back towards Cal, who was now sat as far away from everyone as he could get. Charlie followed his gaze, "He's quiet tonight," he observed, glancing from Cal to Ethan, noticing the anxious frown on the younger man's face.

"Yes, he is. I'm actually very worried about him Charlie. I know losing Matilda affected him greatly, but I get the feeling that there's something more going on, but he won't tell me anything. How am I supposed to help him if he won't tell me?" Ethan turned towards Charlie as he spoke and noticed how uncomfortable the older man looked, "You know something Charlie, don't you?"

Charlie looked like he wanted to answer him, but he couldn't, "Just go and talk to him," the older man encouraged.

Ethan looked even more worried now. He ordered another round of drinks and took them over to his brother. He set his drink down and sat himself down opposite the older man.

Cal looked up when he saw another pint being placed in front of him. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the anxiety clearly etched on his brother's face. He knew he was the cause of that anxiety, but that didn't help.

He watched as Ethan took a drink, set his glass down and sigh deeply, "Cal what's wrong?"

"Why do you think that there's anything wrong?" he countered.

"Cal, it's Christmas Eve, you've got tomorrow off, you're on your fifth pint and you're sat in a corner on your own! Look I know how hard it must be for you thinking about Christmas without Matilda...believe me I know..."

"I know you do Ethan, but it's not just that."

"Then what? Cal, talk to me. I'm not sure I can take much more of this silent treatment," Ethan felt a tear leak from his eye and quickly wiped it away.

Seeing Ethan so emotional broke Cal, so he sucked in a deep breath, " You remember when I did the paternity test?"

"How could I forget? Worst day of my life that day," Ethan told him sincerely.

"Well, the following day, I read it again, over and over, and I noticed...I noticed that my blood group was O..." he paused, waiting to see if Ethan understood, but the younger man said nothing. He was staring intently at his brother, waiting for him to carry on.

"Mum was AB..." he continued.

Suddenly, Ethan's eyes widened with recognition, then denial, "No that can't be right..."

Cal smiled sadly at Ethan's insistence, "I re-checked - you saw me...it was right."

"But if that's the case, that means that..."

"Our mum wasn't my mum," Cal finished for him.

"But that's just crazy! Of course she was your mum. She brought you up, she brought us both up...together," Ethan jumped to his feet and began to pace, tapping his finger on his lips as he always did when he was deep in thought. Without warning, he stopped dead in his tracks, "So if mum wasn't your mum, that means that...no..." he gasped, shaking his head.

"We're not brothers," Cal whispered.

"NO!" Ethan uncharacteristly shouted, causing Cal to jump. A hush descended upon the pub.

The younger man suddenly became aware of the silence and slowly slid back onto the seat opposite the older man.

"No Cal, I won't accept that...I won't."

"You're going to have to - nothing can change it."

Ethan gazed open mouthed at his brother, "So you're just going to accept it? You're that grateful that I'm not your brother that you're not going to do anything about it?"

With the alcohol flowing through his body, Ethan's griping suddenly brought out the usual Cal that everyone saw, "What am I supposed to do Ethan? Tell me oh fount of all knowledge and wisdom! I can't change it, even if I wanted to..."

"You wouldn't anyway because it's your chance to get away from me like you've always wanted to do! You never liked being my brother..." As soon as it was out of his mouth, Ethan regretted it. Cal paled and he jumped to his feet, "That's just typical of you Ethan!" They were both shouting now as Cal grabbed his jacket and began to stumble across the floor towards the door, "Do what you do best Cal...run, just like you always do!"

Before he'd realised what had happened, Cal had gone leaving the younger man crying silently alone.

"Ethan, what the hell?" Charlie had joined him surprising the younger man, who frantically wiped the tears from his face.

"You knew, didn't you? You knew about the blood groups," he whispered.

Charlie sighed deeply, "Yes I did. I happened to walk in on Cal just after he'd noticed the difference...and he's confided in my ever since."

That cut Ethan to it's core, knowing that Cal had spoken to Charlie about something as private as that and not him, "Why? Why did he go to you and not me?"

Charlie bristled when Ethan looked up at him, his normally cheerful face full of misery.

"He wanted to tell you right from the beginning...but he didn't know how to, then he wanted to find more answers as he knew you'd have questions and I really think he was just to damn scared that he would lose you..."

Fresh tears fell down Ethan's face once more, "Oh Charlie, what have I done? I've just basically accused him of not wanting to be my brother any more - that he's happy that we're not brothers...no wonder he wouldn't talk to me!" Ethan dropped his head into his hands, sobbing. Charlie looked uncomfortable with the uncharacteristic display of emotion by the normally calm young man, "With everything that has gone on between you in the past Ethan, I have to ask, would you rather Cal not be your brother?"

Ethan's head shot up. The tears had ceased and he actually looked furious, "No! No way. I dont' care, he's my brother, that's all that counts."

Charlie smiled at the young doctor, "That's what I thought - now you just need to convince your brother - he doesn't really know who he is at the moment."

Ethan nodded. He got to his feet as he held out his hand for Charlie to shake, "Thank you Charlie. I'm so glad Cal had someone to turn to...and I'm sorry about the water works."

"No problem. He really is scared of losing you you know," he told him. The younger man smiled and nodded his goodbye.

The pub door closed behind him with a soft thud. The cold air enveloped him in a bitter blanket as he pulled up his collar and shoved his hands in his pocket. He looked both ways, not knowing which way to go to find his brother. Where would he have gone? He decided to make his way home to see if there were any clues as to where he might go.

It only took him ten minutes to walk home, thankful of the warmth it brought him as he walked through the door. He hung up his coat then made his way into the living area. As he padded in, he noticed a figure slumped on the sofa. A sigh of relief escaped his lips, causing the figure to look up at him. Cal's face was wet with tears, causing Ethan's heart to break just a little bit more. Ethan went into the kitchen and poured them both a glass of wine, then sat himself down next to his brother. Cal smiled his thanks for the wine but couldn't look Ethan in the eye.

"Cal, I am so, so sorry for what I said in the pub! I really didn't mean it. It was completely out of line. You have been bottling this up for the last couple of weeks and then when you did tell me, I threw it back in your face. I should've been more supportive of you...just like Charlie," Ethan said, thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you straight away...I guess I didn't want to believe it. I still don't want to believe it Ethan...I lost Matilda...and now you..."

"You haven't lost me Cal. No matter what that piece of paper says, you are my brother. You have been for all my life the person I have always looked up to, tried to be like...nothing will change that. And I will always be you pain in the backside, geeky little brother...if you'll have me..." Ethan dropped his head, not wanting to Cal to see his fear of rejection. Instead, Cal threw his arms around him, "Of course I want you to be my little brother - I love you Ethan, that won't ever change - you're my family. Do you still want me, with all my baggage?" Cal was staring intently now after breaking the embrace, "With all my heart Caleb," Ethan whispered. A lone tear tracked down the older man's face once more when he saw how sincere his brother was, "And...I'm going to check my blood group too - maybe I'm adopted too."

Cal looked shocked, "I never even thought of that," he exclaimed.

"Right, that's settled then, we're going to have a lovely, family Christmas, then I'll get checked and we'll take it from there...agreed?"

Cal lifted his glass in a toast, "Agreed," he said as they touched their glasses together.

"Dr Hardy, Dr Hardy," Jack, the new receptionist bellowed across a mainly quiet ED for a New Years Eve. Ethan glanced up from his paperwork as the young man quickly walked towards him waving a brown envelope.

"This came for you earlier. I'm really sorry I didn't give it to you then but I've been swamped!"

"Oh, th...thank...you," Ethan stuttered as he took the envelope. He walked quietly into the staff room, closed the door and just stared at the envelope. Charlie walked in soon afterwards to make a cup of tea, surprised the see the young doctor stood alone, just staring at the envelope.

"Oh, is that...?" he questioned, knowing what the two brothers had been planning.

Ethan nodded as he swallowed nervously. Charlie turned off the kettle, "I'll go and find Cal."

Ethan didn't answer. He just stood stock still, not daring to open the envelope.

Cal dashed in a moment later, "Have you looked?"

Slowly, Ethan's gaze landed on Cal's face, "I daren't..."

"Come on, let's get it over with," Cal encouraged.

Ethan nodded, and with shaking hands he slowly began to open it.

Cal watched intently as his brother read the paper in front of him, concern reaching epic proportions when he saw his brother's eyes fill with tears. Ethan's tear filled eyes locked on Cal's anxious eyes as he slowly turned away from his brother and dropped the paper on the counter and walked out of the staff room.

Cal felt sick. He strode to the door, just in time to see Ethan walk out of the ED. He was torn. Should he go to his brother, who was obviously in some sort of distress, or should he read the results that he had been waiting for for the last few days. In the end his curiousity won out. He picked up the sheet and began reading...

Ethan wasn't noticing the cold at all. He stood looking up at the fireworks flashing and banging across the sky as the New Year was welcomed. He was aware of people all around him wishing him a happy New Year, to which he replied politely.

"Ethan!" He heard Cal's voice and turned slowly towards him, as the older man marched towards him.

"You read it?" the younger man questioned, as he noticed a huge smile appearing on the older man's face.

"I did..."

"You saw that my blood group was O too..."

"Yep..."

"And you noticed that final sentence at the bottom of the page..."

"You mean the one where it said something along the lines of - _we can confirm that after extensive testing, the subjects Caleb Knight and Ethan Hardy match all the criteria and are therefore brothers._ "

"Yes that would be the one," now Ethan was smiling, "Happy New Year Cal."

"Happy New Year Nibbles!"

Suddenly, Ethan was in the air being whirled about by an extrememly joyful older brother, "You really are my brother Nibbles, by blood...by everything!"

"Put me down Caleb, you'll throw your back out," Ethan was laughing hard now, causing Cal to join in just as heartily.

"So we're both adopted...up for a bit of detective work?" Cal asked.

Ethan's smile faded a little, "I'm not sure I'm up for that just yet...I still haven't got over m...mum's passing yet, not sure I'm ready for another mother just yet. I will look one day Caleb, just not yet, ok?"

"Of course it's ok, but you won't be hurt if I try?"

"I wouldn't expect anything else big brother."

"WHoo hoo - I'm officially Nibbles's big brother!"

 **I'm so not sure about this, but it wouldn't leave me alone. I don't know whether siblings have the same blood types or not, and I don't know how they word those official letters, so I made it up! I hope that they are still blood brothers in the show as I'm scared stiff that their dynamic will change. Hope it's ok. Thanks for reading.**


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